Suerk's Birthday

Suerk never has cared much about marking his birthday with any kind of celebration. This year is no exception. Yesterday he had a nurse connect him with his friend since boyhood, Tom Weber. The message, “Don’t let anyone throw any birthday stunts. No hoopla!” Tom promptly cancelled the parade.

I try to keep the ‘feelings discussions’ to a minimum. He offers what he wants, when he wants. I pry when I think it might help him, but that’s not often. It’s important to me that he not associate my calls with therapy sessions. He never did take to that kind of thing. But yesterday I said the obvious to him. “I guess there was no way you ever could have imagined you would be celebrating your 71st in quite this way.” In true Suerken fashion, he said, “Boohoo! Poor me!" I don’t exaggerate when I say that I have not heard a hint of self-pity in his voice since the accident. And as you can see, he finds self-deprecation far more appealing than he does self-pity.

As always, I read Suerk the letters that come through the email address, "forpaulsuerken@gmail.com" He loves having that connection.

Turning 71

Suerk has been transferred to St. Vincent Hospital for a few days to receive treatment for pneumonia.  His nurse reassures me that they were using an abundance of caution in admitting him.  Without full use of his diaphragm, a condition that accompanies his paralysis, he is more susceptible to lung infection.  Hence the cautious intervention.  We expect him to be back in his room at the Western Reserve nursing home in a day or two.

 

Suerk turns 71 on the 31^st.  I keep wondering how such milestones will impact his mood.  I anticipate hearing sadness in his voice when we talk.  I expect to find him suffering from depression.  Explain to me how a man who was active and fully mobile just eight months ago can adjust to life flat on his back, in a bed, in a nursing home, with a sense of self, a sense of dignity, without anger, and with a sense of humor.  I continue to be inspired.  So I expect on his 71^st birthday, we will talk and laugh like we do on any other day.  We’ll share memories.  We’ll talk politics.  And I will be glad to have him still in my life, in part because he still manages to find some joy in living.