It's 5am and I've given up on sleeping. I get up, descend the stairs and begin to make the coffee. Out loud I hear myself saying, "What-in-the-hell are you doing up at 5am on a holiday weekend, with nothing more to do than paint the guest room?" No answer. So here I am, now 5:30, sipping coffee, reading Hendrick Hertzberg's first line, "The week before the week before this week's scheduled gathering. . ." in the new New Yorker Paul Suerken has provided me for 20+ years as a Christmas gift, listening to Krips conducting a 1974 ensemble of Mozart's Don Giovani overture on the Arts channel, within eyeshot of the clock hanging on the wall I bought from Clockman with Paul in God knows what year. . . And now I know why I am awake. We were able to choose our influences at Mercersburg. I chose mine. And now he's slung up in a bed in Erie and there's nothing I can do about it. I am beside myself.
And now for a little bit of an update:
Suerk will check out of St. Vincent on Tuesday, 2 September, and move to a nursing home. This change of venue brings with it existential issues – "What will become of my beloved Bostons, Cleo and Gigi? Will I ever be able to return to the home on Hilltop Road? How will I fund the new care? Do I want to live?" Some of these questions can be answered. The dogs are moving to Atlanta. Some questions cannot. In addressing these issues, Paul is often using the phrase, "My life as a quadriplegic." People do ask me, "Does Paul want to live this way?" Were you to ask me before this accident if Paul would want to live, this way, I would have said, "ABSOLUTELY, NO WAY." But I would have been wrong. The things that gave Paul life before the accident – friendships, music, words, humor, irony. . . still give him life. So he wants to live and he will, as long his body lets him. Until then, know that the letters and love do give Paul one more reason to look forward to a new day.
When we have a new physical address, you will know.
This is the first entry in the blog that I read to Paul before posting, requesting permission. Permission was granted.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
George Heindel ('69) here: I am so sorry that this has befallen you. Please know that someone you may not even remember is pulling for you.
I wanted to share a random memory that I have carried to this day. I was in your music appreciation class ('67?) and you were introducing us to jazz and-more specifically-types of music that didn't have a typical rhythm. For an example, you played Dave Brubeck's "Take Five". To demonstrate your point, you tried several times to walk across the classroom in 'step' to the music. This image has never left me. Not only did you effectively illustrate the concept and make the music seem alive, we all got a great laugh out of it.
Take care, Mr. Suerken...Paul.
Sincerely,
George
Post a Comment